MEMO
To: Red Intrepid Man
From: Norah Sway, Chemical Sunshine, Inc.

Mr. Intrepid:
I saw you driving today, and I would like to inform you that you are unacceptable. Being a consumer, and at that, one of the Intrepid automobile sort, I find you utterly out of place and I hold you in contempt for the following reasons:

A) It is quite ridiculous to fox out a Dodge Intrepid with such detail work, notwithstanding the pale pink and blue shades and/or the excessively curly lines of said detail work.
B) It is also quite ridiculous that such an expensive paint job should look like a very large smear of bird gunk from as close as ten feet away.

I assume you are reasonable person, and would be willing to remedy this matter, understanding that the laughter and ridicule must be reaching epidemic proportions. If not for your sake, then for your family.
We would appreciate your help in this matter.

Sincerely Yours,
Norah Sway, Esq.